The Great Indian सब-CD

 To start with , if u get a newspaper today u will come across shit load of terms u don’t understand and caricatures which should have been better. I am not an Economist and I am not going to crib like one. So the object of this blog is to look at Budget from my  lenses. But before getting to more serious discussion let us start with good humor. What is common between Sonakshi Sinha, 2BHK and this years budget ? Ans:- All are flat. Yeah I know, the health of humor in this joke equals the significance of this years budget.

Lets get started by defining a problem . What on Mothers( sorry  no bad words) earth is Budget anyway?

Well it means something in dictionary , but in India it means

" The budget is a democratic process of money transfer  from those who work to those who vote"

The Attitude

I will get to the budgets , but before I go there somebody please explain me what on earth is women's bank. I really don’t understand such a radical concept . What does it mean in first place? Are the banks so scarce that there is need for such a thing. What is the problem with normal banks? Do they discriminate women? Are they unsafe for women ?Apart form women employment I don’t see any point. What is that supposed to encourage Entrepreneurship, Loans at lesser rates, Empowerment …WHAT?? But on a more deadly note standing on front of Women's Bank will be closet I will  ever get to be near heaven". Anyways what will they call this bank? I came up with some names I also wanted to pin down She T bank , but people out there will say it like shitty bank so I had to cancel that name.

1)HDF "SHE " Bank

2)Kotak Mahila Bank

3)State Bank of Mrs.India

4)पंजाबन नेशनल बैंक

The most classy way to criticize any budget is to say ," Rich will be rich and poor will be poor" , but this time around with " This budget is anti-poor and anti-people." To start with ask me what corporate people do during there weekends. Hangout should be the most popular answer. This budget has ensured that u never get out of ur house. There would be service tax at every AC restaurant.  That leaves us going to Terrace Garden Restaurants and Evening buffet. Facebook , Twitter , Youtube and Pinterest will be the only places for a free hangout.If the goverenment wants to tax me for eating in AC restaurant , I will go to a non AC restaurant and take my own fan instead !!! Screw Them !!And on one day when I  will be really really rich I will take the restaurant to my AC home.

The Player

Our honorable FM has said that " There is a bit of Azim Premji in every tax payer" ,Oh yeah?? Never knew Azim Premji was such a player !!

Moving on ,Nirbhaya Relief fund !! Rs 1000 crore were invested to ensure safety and security for women. This is good in a way that Govt.cares for women in this country. But of all the bodies Govt. is supposed to proactive and not reactive. Funding for women who got molested just doesn’t click. But of all the points this for me was positive aspect of this years budget. Something is better than nothing.

Story of Me and Thokkia

The next highlight was increasing rate of mobiles. I use Nokia N72 like since forever and I had silently promised myself to buy a mobile on my birthday. My mobile has undergone 2 body transplants , a couple of formatting , 2 headsets and 6 chargers in 1993 days of its tenure with me. People don’t call it Nokia anymore. Here is the catch phrase "Thokkia". But Congress has ensured that I am struck with this Thokkia mobile, forever and ever. In rail budget they give free Wi-Fi & in aam budget they increase the price of mobile ! Well played Congress!!  You compensated the price of the Wi-Fi usage. One more thing owing to this policy. They make set-top boxes mandatory and now increase the rate of that accessory. I guess Congressmen are making sure they yield enough money before going out of power  BIG TIME in 2014 !

But I can say one thing very conclusively , I am a poor person. Ask me how and I will give you 3 good reasons.

1)I Don’t have a SUV

2)I don’t have a smart phone.( friend of me says " Smart phones are for dumb people)

3)I don’t smoke

हे सगले श्रीमंतांचे चोचले !!

No AC restaurants,  No Foreign brands , No MaC-D . This is my month end status , now the entire month has got the same story. The object of this budget was to make Super rich to rich , rich to upper middle class , upper middle class to lower middle class, lower middle class to poor, and to poor BPL. (I really expect u have seen ZNMD)

Memories Of A Bookworm

First of all this is my first blog of this year. So I will like to start with greeting my Blogdosts Happy New Year for next 10 months that remain and all the best for next month, its March and don’t even get me started.

It is rightly said that I you have nothing sensible to say , you always have the option to shut up. I chose latter for last couple of months, but something happened that got me nostalgic yesterday. The thing was finished re-reading of 3 mistakes of my life, and I got nostalgic about how I finished the book overnight in June of 2008. This is the story of how I managed a coup of finishing the book on the trot.

To understand this story lets travel back a couple of years. The year is 2006, I am newly admitted to Engineering College and by now I had good experience of reading books. But my reading was dominated mostly by Marathi but English books that I read would be counted on figures. And when I visited college the bookworms in this city were busy flaunting Atlas Shrugged, Tale Of Two Cities, Who Moved My Cheese and I was totally unaware , so I could not participate in the discussion . But somewhere deep down I felt urge of reading books in languages known. I made friends with brat who would buy books for a showoff. I requested him to get me Atlas Shrugged and he did. Now the thing with it was certain momentum is required to read through the pages back to back, but before that momentum is reached it was "Learn-The-Word" exercise for me. With Ayn Rand , a new reader might  get struck at two words in every sentence. So by default I carried a dictionary in my sack and a notebook. Not only I wrote the words I was struck at but every night I re-read the sentences where I was struck and try to bludgeon my newly added sense to it. I finished the book and I felt happy.  I took double time to read it but most  of all I gained confidence in bits that I could finish a English Book , if things go only according to my schedule. I kept on reading things over and over during first semester. Thankfully it didn’t affect my studies. One reason for being so was that I did not have a laptop during that time. So only entertainment was to be with friends or be in reading room. I choose latter.

During the next semester I noticed an interesting thing. The guy who never read any book  told be about the first novel he read. I thought he was bragging just to add reading feather in his hat. But to my shock the guy was serious. I couldn't help but ask who and most importantly what did he read.  He answered both my questions,

He said:-"Dude, I read Chetan Bhagat and his first novel '5 Point Someone'"

 I shrugged "Five Point What"

"Five Point Someone,  kept me engaging for a week"

"When did u start reading books?"

"I haven't but reading first couple of pages got me glued and past week was best week I have had since days."

"U said Chetan Bhagat rite"

"Yeah."

"Alright. "

C-Bag

Nope it did not ring a bell. Indian Author writing in English was not a thing. But someone who is not interested in reading finished this book and felt happy about it. I was reading The Da-Vinci  Code during that time which I finished very early , a couple of days before I scheduled it to finish. I wanted to read something in English written by Indian Author. I went to Net Café wiki'd Chetan Bhagat. Not only did I read about him but also his books. Two were published. What got me interested in his case he was an Mechanical Engineer. I was studying in 4th semester of Mechanical Engineering. Gosh ….The glitch was clear, I had missed the fun of reading his books .

The story I was about to tell is between me and C-Bag's third book " 3 Mistakes Of My Life". During college days mass bunk was a tradition. On one such day of mass bunk I was left stranded. Laptop had entered my life so reading was meager. The score without laptop was 1 book per month reduced to one book per semester . Final year first semester. I didn’t even have a "Books to read " list. So plan during most of the mass bunk was actually to go to a movie. I went to multiplex with my friends, parked my vehicle , but before going to box office I requested my friends to first go to crossword. Since the movie was not running full-house so  guys agreed. At that point I saw this book Three Mistakes of My Life and book chose me. The money which was meant for ticket was spent on a book. I told the guys that I am not going to watch the movie and took all the criticism that came my way for ruining the plans. Oh yes , I do that a lot. Come on guys , Rock On could be watched later but reading was , is and always will be my priority number 1. I don’t regret dumping the movie plan and opting a book.

This was first time I read a book on a trot and finished it overnight.

My roommate asked "Are u OK ? Exams are due for Dec ." He had obvious point. The reason I got nostalgic was I re-read that book yesterday. I so wanted to say in one night , but I could not. Mass Bunk  is not greatest virtue of corporate life. The office timings are 11am to 7:15pm minimum, but by any possible calculation it takes 8 to get to home. Since last 2 nights am sleeping at 4am in the morning and Call Of Duty 4 has nothing to do with it. When I read the novel first divided it in Pre-Vidya and Post-Vidya  stages. I did pre-vidya day before yesterday and post- vidya yesterday. Felt the same happiness I did when I read it first.

What great coincidence I dumped a Abhishek Kapoor movie(Rock ON) to read the novel, and now I re-read that novel to go to movie of Abhishek Kapoor. I am not expecting anything from the movie but I will still see it and I will not review it. I have done my job.

For guys out there , never judge a book by its movie. However good the movie is the book is the best. Treat Yourself , if u will!!!